So, in a way, attacking the groin is a compassionate response to a guy who's trying to kill you. Still, my EMT textbook notes that while injuries to the genitalia are "rarely life threatening," they are "typically extremely painful and could be quite embarrassing for the patient. That's true for men and women; women have a lot of nerve endings in the groin, too.
However, "injuries to the male genitalia," the EMT text goes on, choosing its words carefully, "usually produce excruciating pain and cause great concern to the patient. That's probably an understatement. A good kick to the balls doesn't just hurt the balls. Upon impact, the spermatic plexus, a major nerve running through the testicles, carries the pain upward to the abdominal cavity, which is why victims of groin kicks often double over and assume a fetal position.
They may also throw up or pass out. Crying is not unheard of. Here, for instance, is a six-minute, second video of a guy getting kicked in the balls. The kick comes at The next is the recovery. He doesn't even stand up until well past the four-minute mark. Now, this is a terrible thing to happen in a sporting event. But it would be a great thing to happen in countering an assault. Think how far away you could be by the time your attacker was back on his feet.
You'd have time to hail a cab, probably. Here's a clip where the kick from Adam Glenn comes about 10 seconds in. Seventy seconds later, the victim, Tyler Baltz, still looks like he needs oxygen. Or smelling salts. It's a bad day, all around, for a guy who gets kicked in the balls. The particulars of the damage are even less appealing.
Blunt trauma can cause testicular torsion, where the spermatic cord becomes twisted and blood supply to the testicle is cut off. This quickly results in ischemia or testicular infarction and tissue death—an extremely dangerous condition if left untreated.
Testicular rupture is also a possibility, accompanied by hemorrhage or scrotal hematoma. Fun fact: the Wikipedia page for Testicular Rupture is currently a "stub. Less common, but more impressive, is testicular dislocation. It turns out those little buggers can be popped right up into the abdominal cavity if you hit them hard enough though this particular outcome is more common from motorcycle crashes than one-on-one combat.
And then there's a grab bag of other possibilities, like a lacerated urethra, or a penile fracture, when the tunica albuginea tears or ruptures, resulting in severe pain hematoma, and edema. Here's another interesting outcome: Watch heavyweight Bellator fighter Eric Prindle axe-kick Thiago Santos in the groin.
The kick comes at seconds. The rest of the video is Santos writhing on the mat. Turns out Prindle's kick broke his pubic bone. Pretty ugly, isn't it? It makes me glad I'm a girl, frankly. I've spent 15 years training in karate, an art developed primarily by men and therefore obsessively concerned with protecting the testicles, so in some ways I feel like I have an honorary groin; I'm so accustomed to covering it every time I begin or end a drill.
It's a huge responsibility, and I'm thankful I don't carry that burden in real life. I don't think I'd cope well with the stress. Not that I feel sorry for men. It's more than a fair trade, running the world, even if you have to keep one hand over your crotch at all times.
But I do feel a weird sort of sympathy for the be-testicled. Such important parts of your anatomy, and you have to tie them up in a little purse before you can even pretend to fight. What a drag. From one to ten how effective was it? What did you use? Why did you do it? How did you react? Are you glad you don't have balls? Do you still bust boys? Does it hurt girls? When you start ball busting when do you finish? Should girls be allowed to ball bust boys in an organized fight?
If a boy hit you in the groin would you hit him in the balls? If you were play fighting your brother what would be acceptable? The contestants are put through absurd and life-threatening challenges presented by a shamelessly sadistic host who makes the show "interesting" by paying lip service to his own rules and guidelines and doesn't care about the many interns killed in the process of setting up and testing new challenges.
Hilarity Ensues as contestants are subjected to numerous Amusing Injuries and frequent humiliation. Porky is subjected to nearly impossible questions "What was Cleopatra's aunt's maiden name? The Robot Chicken sketch "Hall of Memory" has contestants on a game show where they had to memorize how to navigate a death trap laden cave with zero information other than seeing how the previous contestant died.
Once they get the prize, they then have to escape with it while being chased by a giant boulder. The game includes such challenges as "Ow, that hurts! To go into more detail, the host says while American shows reward knowledge, theirs punishes ignorance.
Homer responds with "ignore-what? A literal lightning round where Homer is strapped to a lighting rod and struck by lightning. Finally, the Simpsons have to obtain the needed plane tickets home by getting them from a bridge on top of a volcano and they fall into the magma which is really orangeade mixed with wasabi.
Homer shames the audience before leaving. The next contestants are a Canadian couple who are afraid of scorpions. Guess what their challenge is. Homer sees this backstage and laughs.
The game show Mordecai, Rigby, and Benson go into pretty much speaks this trope, being a Takeshi's Castle expy with a deadly obstacle course and an insane host trying to beat them to death. Kaeloo : In Episode 58, Mr. Cat goes on a game show hosted by Kaeloo to prove that he is always right about everything by answering a bunch of difficult questions; Kaeloo rigs the game show to make him lose by inviting Stumpy to participate as his partner.
The "game" has gotten out of hand, however, according to Dr. Scott Wheeler, a pediatric urologist in Minnesota. In recent years he's seen an increasing number of young boys coming in with serious damage to the testicles because of a "tap" that hit too hard. It's rare that bullies target the testicles, they just beat up people.
The trend isn't restricted to Minnesota. A search on YouTube reveals hundreds of videos of young boys, teens, and even members of the U. Navy, catching a friend or enemy unaware with a quick punch or slap to the genitals.
There's even a "Judge Judy" mock court case involving a year-old "sack tapper" posted to the site.
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